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Woodchuck Morris Facts (Part 3 of 4)

Hey yo! We celebrate new episodes of Numb Chucks on Tuesdays at 4:30pm and Wednesdays at 3:30pm by presenting the best Woodchuck Morris facts! This is Part 3 of 4!

51. Woodchuck Morris can kill your imaginary friends.

52. Woodchuck Morris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

53. Woodchuck Morris beat the sun in a staring contest.

54. When Bruce Banner gets mad he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad he turns into Woodchuck Morris. When Woodchuck Morris gets mad, run.

55. Woodchuck Morris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

56. If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Woodchuck Morris says its beef, then it's beef.

57. Woodchuck Morris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.

58. When Woodchuck Morris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.

59. Woodchuck Morris can kill two stones with one bird.

60. Woodchuck Morris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Woodchuck Morris.

61. When a zombie apocalypse starts, Woodchuck Morris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.

62. When Woodchuck Morris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.

63. Big foot claims he saw Woodchuck Morris.

64. Woodchuck Morris makes onions cry.

65. Woodchuck Morris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.

66. Woodchuck Morris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."

67. Woodchuck Morris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.

68. Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Woodchuck Morris can throw Brett Favre even further.

69. It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Woodchuck Morris can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.

70. Woodchuck Morris can drown a fish.

71. M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Woodchuck Morris can touch this.

72. Woodchuck Morris can build a snowman out of rain.

73. If you spell Woodchuck Morris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Woodchuck Morris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

74. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Woodchuck Morris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.

75. Woodchuck Morris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Play WOODCHUCK MORRIS - FISTS OF PUNCHING Game!

 

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