Amazing Woodchuck Morris Facts!
Hey yo! We celebrate new episodes of Numb Chucks on Tuesdays at 4:30pm and Wednesdays at 3:30pm by presenting the best Woodchuck Morris facts!
1. When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Woodchuck Morris.
2. There used to be a street named after Woodchuck Morris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Woodchuck Morris and lives.
3. Woodchuck Morris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
4. Woodchuck Morris has already been to Mars. That's why there are no signs of life.
5. Some magicians can walk on water, Woodchuck Morris can swim through land.
6. Woodchuck Morris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
7. Woodchuck Morris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
8. Woodchuck Morris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afraid to move.
9. Woodchuck Morris counted to infinity - twice.
10. Woodchuck Morris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
11. Woodchuck Morris can cut through a hot knife with butter.
12. Death once had a near-Woodchuck Morris experience.
13. Woodchuck Morris can slam a revolving door.
14. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Woodchuck Morris.
15. Woodchuck Morris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.
16. Woodchuck Morris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
17. Woodchuck Morris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
18. Woodchuck Morris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.
19. Woodchuck Morris once got bit by a rattle snake. After three days of pain and agony, the rattle snake died.
20. When Woodchuck Morris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
21. Woodchuck Morris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
22. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Woodchuck Morris allows to live.
23. Woodchuck Morris doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
24. The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs. Woodchuck Morris. (The film was cancelled shortly after going into pre-production. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long)
25. Woodchuck Morris played Rock Paper and Scissors in front of a mirror and won.
Play WOODCHUCK MORRIS - FISTS OF PUNCHING Game!
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